Happiness Is optional

[Zada Connaway]

If one wishes to be happy, they must remember that happiness is not having what you want, but rather, wanting what you have.
It is also a choice that one makes. We can live in the misery with painful memories of the past. Or we can choose to let go of the pain and start fresh. The experiences we have had can become tools we use to have empathy for others. When we have been in the same painful spot as another individual, we can ease their burden by sharing our own trials.

Sometimes our own experiences can help keep others from being abused. That is a big part of why I blog on the subject. So many people are unaware of the abuse they are exposing themselves to until it is too late. Education is a very valuable tool to use when trying to protect oneself.

In order to let go of a painful past, it often means coming to terms with your own part in the scheme of things. It also means realizing the individuals who were responsible for your pain were very ill themselves. It is possible to forgive them without condoning their actions. People do not always choose to be abusive. It is often the only way they know how to be. We mirror the actions and attitudes we grow up around. And victims of abuse did not choose to be abused. They just happened to be in the path of the abuser.

Verbal abuse is one of the worst things we can do to another human being. Once spoken, words can never be truly taken back. They stay with the individual and will often haunt their every waking moment. If you have been verbally abused, you will know of what I speak. It can often affect what an individual does and how they look at the world and people around them.
When angry, it is easy to say things we don’t mean and we often speak without even thinking. It takes great restraint and practice to not say hurtful things.

The old saying that we always hurt the ones we love is very true. They are closest to us, and usually bear the brunt of our angry words. Quite often they are not even the ones who made us angry.

[Helen Wisocki]

I've been the recipient of verbal abuse. Although I'm a very strong and determined person, I still fell victim to being verbally abused, which could've easily led to physical abuse. This kind of thing can happen to anyone. I'd probably be one that people would least expect to fall victim to abuse. I knew exactly what was happening, but I also knew that I needed to back out cautiously to protect myself and my children. It's a complicated subject, and I applaud you for all your sound and helpful advice and comments on the subject, Zada! You know how to tell it like it is.